Lou Bernard

Sports

CLINTON, NY (AP) – With the final results in for the 2022 Clinton Challenge, New Jersey has won by one hour in a breathtaking and shocking upset, adding their final total at the last possible moment.

New Jersey’s final total was 5,914, beating out New York by exactly one hour. New York wound up with 5,913, and Pennsylvania ended up in last place with 5,589. This makes the first time all summer that New Jersey has been in the lead. Since the competition began in June, New York and Pennsylvania have both taken first place at one point or another, but New Jersey has trailed throughout.

“They came from behind in an NBA-worthy rebound, crossing the tape in the Clinton Reading Challenge in a photo finish!” cheered Laura Stoll of New York, who kept the tally all summer. “If you’re astounded by this news, you’ll be even more shocked to see the actual numbers! Yes, folks, they won by ONE HOUR. This was so much fun! I hope you are on board for 2023!”

“I am so in shock about this!” stated Terry Edwards of New Jersey. “I actually read it a couple of hours ago, and I still can’t get my head around it enough to say something profound or even clever!!! Now I know how those athletes feel after they’ve done something great and the press is interviewing them, and they always seem to say inane things!”

Pennsylvania staff member Lou Bernard is already planning to return for another round next summer. There is a position on the wall reserved for the 2023 poster, and the Ross Library will certainly agree to complete again.